Maybe it’s just me. But if you’re going down the road at 60mph, and you have a nice late-model Mercedes Benz, wouldn’t you theoretically not open the moonroof and stand up and wave your arms in the air?
Maybe this guy was listening to one of those inspirational tapes, and he just got so overwhelmed with positivity that he couldn’t contain himself and had to do the Leonardo DeCaprio “I’m the King of the World!” bit. Oh well, at least he’s out of the gene pool now.
In the bathroom at work, there’s usually an issue or two of Photo Marketing Magazine laying around. There are only 8 of us, so we don’t have a receptionist – and hence we don’t have a reception area – so we need someplace to put the back-issues.
On my most recent trip to the bathroom, I noticed that the guy on the cover of last month’s issue is really pretty unattractive. I won’t go into a detailed description here, mostly because I know you don’t care, so suffice it to say he’s at the bare minimum of photo-genic-ness to be featured on the cover of a widely-distributed magazine.
So I stood there for a minute trying to figure out what the big turn-off was. No, I don’t mean turn-off as in the opposite of being turned-on by someone. I mean turn-off in terms of what about this guy was making me not want to read his feature article. Then it hit me – he’s not smiling.
OK, so he’s not completely frowning. He’s got a pathetic little closed-mouth smirk on. Sort of like that yearbook photo of the guy you knew in high school who you were certain would end up being a child molester or something. If this guy were smiling like he meant it, I’d probably actually go read about him.
But he’s not. Maybe he’s got bad teeth. Maybe he was dropped as a child and lacks the ability to use those facial muscles. Maybe he was in a fist fight the night before the interview, so his teeth looked like Edward Norton’s when he hissed at “The Consultant” in Fight Club. Or maybe he doesn’t know my secret…
When someone’s about to take a picture of you, laugh at them. You don’t have to be laughing as if they’re funny, just make the facial motion of laughing, and huff a little air in and out as if you were laughing. I guarantee you it’ll make for a fantastic photo… In fact, there are lots of photos that I’m in where – by employing this technique – I’m the only person who doesn’t look like they’re faking the smile…..
Bottom line – if you’re not an attractive person, you can fix it by smiling like you mean it. And if you have bad teeth, we’ll have to work on that in a future entry. And by the way – if you haven’t subconsciously started singing Lullabye by Shawn Mullins by now, you should have.
It appears in quotes because it’s a concept that I’m blatantly borrowing from Libprincess’s Boy Wonder. Because some weeks just aren’t conducive to original thinking. Hope Keith doesn’t mind…
This week in a nutshell … in no particular order:
5 eight-hour days at work
38 design problems solved
2 meals cooked with The Supernurse
64 company dollars spent on tools and parts
3 hours spent hanging out with Dobbz, talking politics and listening to trip-hop
1 glass of Knob Creek consumed (which is about 4 too few)
1 Christmas tree purchased for Supernurse’s apartment
23 hours sleep total, since Monday
0 rounds shot from my gun (about 60 too few – I missed range night)
2 gas-tank fill-ups
4 Republica tracks listened to (so far)
0 dishes washed
2 trips to the ambulance base
1 inch of snow
4 annoying credit card applications shredded (very satisfying)
1.2 miles walked with The Supernurse after dinner last night
46 ornaments hung on the Christmas tree
2 weekend days, just around the corner, for my enjoyment…
I think this is cool. Even though the guy who wrote it seems like he might be a socialist driving an iMac, I still dig the format. And I might even visit his blog again.
So, tomorrow being Friday, we will do a “week report by the numbers”. Hold me to that. Really.
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