daverea.com

Ordinarily I’d be a bit more tactful about a story like this, but idiocy of the magnitude I’m about to describe needs to be treated with the ridicule it deserves: Doctors (who, in theory, are supposed to be some of the smartest people around) writing for the British Medical Journal have actually proposed a ban on kitchen knives to reduce the number of stabbings in the UK.

I was under the impression that doctors were, by and large, reasonable people. Perhaps I was mistaken: “The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all.”

For years and years, “gun nuts” like myself have been jokingly/sarcastically jeering the Brady crowd that “Kitchen knives are ‘lethal weapons’, too – why aren’t you trying to ban them?” I guess we never expected anyone to be so obtuse as to actually try! Yet these idiots are actually calling for legislation that will regulate the sale, importation, manufacture or posession of kitchen knives!

So let’s go over this again, since you liberals obviously weren’t listening last time… Or you just have such an overarching faith in human goodness that you believe all inanimate objects (not just guns) are responsible for the crimes people commit using them… So here it is, plain and simple:

Guns, knives, clubs, open elevator shafts, pea-shooters (even “assault” pea shooters that fire armor-piercing, cop-killer Wasabi peas), large rocks, individual encyclopedia volumes and socks filled with pennies are not, have never been, and never will be responsible for crime. All of these things, and many other potential murder-weapons that I haven’t listed (such as candlesticks, lead pipes and ropes – thank you, Milton Bradley) have legitimate uses. If you want to stop stabbings, shootings, drive-by stonings or any other manner of violence, the solution is not to callously ban the item used. This only serves to punsh lawful users. The solution, counter-intuitive as it may sound to the twisted liberal brain, is to hold people (who, after all, are the ones committing the crimes) responsible for their actions.

Don’t believe me? Just Google the phrase “Boston gun project”. The Boston gun project, far from a misguided implementation of gun control, was an effective law enforcement program that “focused criminal justice attention on a small number of chronically offending gang-involved youth” – and drastically cut the amount of gun violence in urban Boston.

While the Harvardites that completed the project would never admit it through any means other than omission, the project didn’t accomplish its goals by banning any particular object. It was hinged on community policing – crime control, not gun control. And – lo and behold! – it worked.

I’m not sure what these brits are truly trying to accomplish by calling for a knife ban throughout the UK. But rest assured – 20 years from now, when Orwellian teams of black-uniformed ‘Yardies are arresting housewives for dicing tomatos with un-approved edged implements, we American “gun nuts” will be saying “We told ya so!”