daverea.com

Dear Credit Card Companies,

Thank you for your frequent and varied offers to extend credit to my wife and me. In addition to making our mailbox seem more full than it really is, your offers let us know that – any time we want to become a part of the American public’s debt problem – we’re welcome in your flock. Your kindness is much appreciated.

However, we did have one small request. Since your offers consistently state that you have a fervent desire to save us money, please consider printing your application letters on shredder lubricating paper – our shredder gets a tremendous workout in preventing people from stealing our identities via your correspondance, and this small effort on your part could eliminate a lot of work on ours.

Fondly,
Dave Rea

PS – I bought the 3-year protection plan on my shredder, so if you don’t want to print on the lubricating paper, that’s OK – I’m sure the plan is underwritten by a card-issuing bank, so I’m gonna screw you either way.